$45 Brunch
Wtf
You made it. This is humanities at its finest.
Nobody breaks down the world’s intricacies like me — and you ain’t gonna read sh*t like this anywhere else, cause nobody’s thinking bout this sh*t the way I’m thinking bout this sh*t.
Stay hot, fun, and sexy. 🧡🛜
HUB & SHIT 😭🤣
I went to eat breakfast yesterday with Gloria — funny I call it breakfast, because actually we went to go eat at 2pm and I was still recovering slowly from the bombardment of shots I had the night before.
A little Sunday brunch is one of the happiest things someone can experience in life. it’s sacred and should remain sacred. good vibes and good food.
But we went to Hub & Spoke, which I think we all know is midasf. But it was a last minute move because I was craving sushi but then thought hrmm raw fish while hungover doesn’t sound 💯
The vibes were horrendous and I was fantasizing about airing the place out becuz it was crammed with dozens of clamoring non descripts. Luckily we were able to sit outside away from the noisy hubbub, relaxing my hungover brain next to the loud busy intersection.
Brunch maths 🧮
I just want to say their menu is so ass. Breakfast nachos… what twisted sick fuck is ordering breakfast nachos. Even worse imagine the mad man who is making breakfast nacho. Imagine the menu designer or whatever saying fuck it put in some nachos.
Anyway in my hungover stupor all I wanted was classic diner food. I got potatoes eggs sausage and a biscuit. I was going to get avocado but thanks to my shrewd omniscient mind I knew to ask.
It came with 1/4… you know how mad I woulda been if I got a stingy lil 1/4 fuckass of avocado. That shit woulda sent me postal fs, I woulda went back inside and air out the whole joint . The biscuit was a good last minute audible, top tier 10/10 move by me. And I’m happy to report the biscuit was fire with jam and butter on the side.
But here’s the real issue.
2 eggs, a decent portion of taters, a biscuit, and 3 sausage pucks for $15…
I think it’s even worse in Glorias order because one of her two sides was spent on 1 gross bland tasteless orange.
and we got a coffee.
So total we looking at like $37 after tax and of course you know imma tip hefty because I’M A GOOD PERSON
$45 for some mid brunch…
- I do wanna say I paid in cash! Nothing feels more epic than leaving an eating establishment without needing to wait to pay. crazy tuff vibe to leave cash n dip.
I swear I’m not cheap I swear!!! 📊
Here’s the thing if you wanna pay 40 to go out n have a 5/10 meal thats chill. But it don’t sit right with me, $45 for legit bird food is heinous, no sir not for me.
The next day (today the time of writing) I went on a run stopped at Smiths. This whole spread was legit $50. Yes I’m getting them luxury eggs where I can see them walk around the farm with my QR code. Yes I’m getting fuckass Jimmy Deans turkey sausage. Yes I’m getting lazy taters because I don’t wanna roast my own russets and this shit mad cheaper than some mid Hub & Spoke. With extra goodies!
They can’t keep getting away from this 🟰
I have never felt more swindled than seeing the check come and hitting the quick maths that I paid $45 for some eggs n taters.
buy ur own food cook ur own shit and don’t get scammed out there by some tasteless mid class brunch spot. Unless you leaning into the sanctimonious vibe of brunch.
in the end tho Hub n Spoke up, n they laughing at me like
cause they know they finessed my ass
-Though shout out our server Monse she was literally goated and saved the dining experience w a table move, a fun avocado talk, 2 coffee top offs, and 3 water refills, and a tabasco bee tech that didn’t work.
🫡
Use my referral link get ur business card and start making some mf money. spend 6k in 3 months get $900 in points or even more for traveling n shit. 0% APR for the first year.
For my card gamers here’s my plot. You whip up the YT channel or you have a room/warehouse to store all cards and bulk. stay strictly online for the first year. Feed your card gaming addiction with new card gets business write offs so you can offset the taxes. while buying lots of cards.
GODDAMN thats a good idea then the 4 of y’all plot in together all feeding one guy so it looks like this. 1 guy spends 6k individually you all spend 1.5k and pool the money then you get tax write offs on ur cards and the $900. Rinse n repeat betwixt the 4 of yall and that’s nearly 4k just for doing the same shit y’all be doing!
Damn I hope one of those mfers reads this cause I’m hella plotting 4 yall
talk to ur fam while u still can uncles aunties moms pops sisters brothers it’s all love
CONSUMER REPORT 4 EVR 🛜🪽🧡
Amen brother preach