foreword:
Met Gala was 2 weeks ago, and it already feels too old to talk about. Have I gotten so fried that bringing this up days later feels out of touch? idk, that’s a talk for a different day. While I inherently feel late to the whole event, I hope you find amusement in my musings and ramblings of this godless event.
Fashion fatigue
I don’t even fw fashion like that no more. Keeping up with designers and houses seasonal drops is too dang much. Looks come and go— in one day, out the next. It’s to much work trying to keep up.
I judge everyone on what they wear, assuming the role, Oracle of Fits. I know best and my way is law. Fashion feels dead and lifeless I’m not sure people know what they like, stuck in old trends that don’t make sense. I look at fits with sullen eyes knowing I don’t fw them, and have nothing nice to say.
Met Gala Snoozefest
I had no idea Met Gala was happening until I saw someone post it on their Insta story. I have never been a fan it’s always felt a bit superficial. I’m not tryna be anti materialistic anti capitalism or anything like that but sumn about the Gala. Seeing stars I don’t know interviewing and talking to other people I don’t know, I begin to loathe this entire thing. I can’t enjoy the slop. The worst part is, is that I should love Met Gala! Big entrances, beautiful clothes, beautiful people, intricate details, and so many stories. But I hate this shit, So why am I watching this shit?
The theme was Superfine: Tailoring Black Style, Tailored for you. Which seemingly got reduced to dandyism. I’m being harsh but nothing felt dandy about it aside from people constantly repeating dandy - though my mind has been askew by legend_already_made Black Willy Wonka which this mf is dandy incarnate. Met Gala felt more like mafia 50s looks w cocktail dresses or sum shit like that idk midasf. Boring colors, uninspired silhouettes, over the top for no reason. The stairs… This is the backdrop and it sucked, boring, drab, and lifeless, like a rushed school project.
Met Gala is just a market-driven, celebrity-worshiping event that dominates the cultures mainstream for one day. Watching stars mingle and giggle. While desperate photographers shout at these dandy stars for a picture for some publication no one reads - sound familiar hehe 😜
Interviews with pointless questions briefly mentioning their clothes then plugging their latest slop shit project. “Archive Off-White from Vergils Closet”, “I love him and I can’t wait for our movie to come out next month.” Even publications covering the Gala don’t say shit, bout the clothes. So when I find myself reading about Robert Pattinson not joining his fiancee Suki Waterhouse at the Gala and staying home with their 13 month old I feel crazy. I don’t need to know this shit, no one needs to know this shit.
I expect more. There are a lot of people working really hard to make these outfits come to life and I would love to learn more about those stories. They have so much cool shit to talk about.
Why a mf needs some context
Diana Ross enters in this ginormous gown it’s kind of an epic spectacle cause it’s big, but also ugly and tacky. I watch her frail body climb the stairs clinging on to her dear life with this man on her right while 6 men lift her gown. It annoys me like why tf did you need a gown this big and all this help, and why does everyone care so much.
THEN. I do a lil reading, I wanna know who made this atrocity, and let me say I do a total 180. Context is everything.
This is her first time in 22 years hitting the Gala, goddamn, you go Mrs.Ross. The person holding her hand, helping her up the stairs was none other than her son… Could you imagine walking your mf mom up them Met Gala steps… oh my god I’d be a mess - love you mom. The big gaudy gown she’s wearing, that needs 6 men to help carry, has her children’s and grand children’s names embroidered all over it. She also designed this herself with help from Eleven Sixteen. I don’t even know Eleven Sixteen, but the fact she actually had some hand in her outfit I love. So I take the 2-3 minutes to learn about the piece and it instantly wins me over. It’s not always about the outfit.
Speedrun fit checker
After looking at 100ish outfits I can no longer do this. I am speed running through the rest picking only the ones that jump out. I am getting more and more ornery with each passing outfit. All this shit looks mid. You have powerhouse stars and goliath companies w big budgets and they come through looking mid asf it truly is a shame.
Quick Wall of shame
Chappel Roan, wtf u thinking u look like the mad hatter, kinda dandy in an ugly way
Doechii, looks like a diaper, i’d fire whoever green lit this look
After scrolling through all 300+ looks—may you rest in piss, Dandy Gala. What was meant to be a fun little outfit roundup morphed into a jaded critique on how we’ve lost sight of craft and context. Though I don’t think it was ever really about that.
I grow more and more weary in the fashion landscape. I care about how I look and how I dress. I want others to care about how they look and dress. This doesn’t do anything to push our fashion world forward. It’s stars in outfits that fade away with in a day. I feel like I’m bringing them back from the dead talking about them weeks later. Met Gala isn’t supposed to change the fashion world by any means. It’s more of an excuse for stars to play dress up and push some brands and whatever projects they may be working on.
It’s not that I’m sick of fashion but I’m sick of how it’s presented and the themes behind it. I crave craft, intention, story. Met Gala gave me none of that. Rest in piss, Dandy Gala. idk or sumn like that.
The looks
OKay the only part that matters really the outfits that I fw.
Anok Yai, cool asf look idk it just worked 5/5
Kim K, Bloodborne hat cool asf 4/5
Aurora James, idk I like it - tho she look kinda dumb 3/5
Janelle Monae, bruh this shit so bad that I fw it 1/5
Look I was a Fear of God hater w they tacky name but these won me over killer looks.
5/5
Alton Mason, bravo bro fws w his jojos heavy I love that cool look the only look that stopped me dead in my tracks. 5/5
Andre 3k, funny piano man cool. 4/5
Diljit Dosanjh, this is tough, esp w that lil scimitar 5/5
Lupita Nyongo, she kept emoting to get the cape flowy shit is tough. 5/5
Fei Fei Sun, It’s cool kinda fits big n bulky I rock w it. 3/5
Zoe Saldana, it just works like it looks clean n sharp 4/5
Janicza Bravo, this is my favorite one. This feels like it transcends the whole Met Gala. What an interesting piece so much is going on. Rashid Johnson worked along Tory and Janicza all the patterns I believe are taken from his paintings. This feels like some real royalty shit idk. Truly above and beyond I’m mesmerized just looking at it, I can only imagine how it feels and looks in person. Stunning piece amazing work from that whole team. 5 Stars for this shit
Troll shit fs. 5/5
thanks for taking the time to read about this archaic event. Idk why I even bothered writing this up, tho it did remind me how much I enjoy critiquing fashion. I know cool shit I know what looks good I know lame shit n what looks bad. This is hopefully a revival of caring just a little bit more about fashion than I have been. So idk maybe we talk more about that in the future, cause god knows y’all need me.
CONSUMER REPORT 4 EVER 🛜🧡⚙️📜
