Welcome to Consumer Report — a personal archive of observations, impulses, stray thoughts, and internal monologues, dressed up like a publication. This is where I process the world as I consume it: media, people, moods, ideas, and anything else that sticks. Subscribe if you want to be in early on whatever nonsense I’m thinking about. Stay hot, fun, and sexy. 🧡🛜
This starts during my run. I feel great, a few miles behind me heart pumping, legs burning, sun on my skin. I feel good. I make my way down the grove. A tanned old man with a cute dog with a limp settles into the water up to his neck. I never thought to do that, I think I might try it. I’m partially in the water sun on my skin not really even thinking just zoning out to the sounds and sights.
I get back home. The heat creeps in. Feelings of insanity start to creep into my mind. A self inflicted state I choose to believe. I become deranged for reasons I can’t understand. Now my only theory seems to be is that… I have to go out.
I was talking with Josh. I mentioned to him how much I had to drag myself to go to Shinjuku Strut. Last time I saw Josh I brought up the exact same thing to him, though that time it was for Rosies Cookout/Pool Party. This retroactively made me realize that maybe the trigger behind my spell of insanity was simply the thought of going out. I had the same thing happen when Nakita invited me to see Phoenician Scheme. Absolutely dreading the hours leading up to it before I set myself free and bailed. It seems I can’t be fricked to go out.
Perchance that is a tale that must be told a different day. I unfortunately do not contain the mental capacity to open that can of worms at this given time. For I am a few drinks in at this point in time. A delicious light cucumber cocktail that tasted as fresh as a glass of cucumber water, how delightful. A shot of soy sauce n coffee that was pleasantly scrumptious. The thing is I’m quite faded off plethora of tasty beverage, and it’s all thanks to Shinjuku Strut.
I don’t know about the exacts of the pop up but it was a Cole n Hannah mastermind project. I like the vibe they brought. I didn’t do much aside from take in the scene. Scouring in the corner with cocktail in hand. Insanity slowly straining away from my nervous system with each sip. Avoiding familiar faces hiding behind my sunnies. I saw a handful of people I knew. I did not bother saying hello to most of them due to my demented demeanor.
I was over-hearing conversations, but nothing of real interest. I had too much malice in my heart that even eavesdropping - one of my favorite things to do - wasn’t entertaining me. These local barflys were not fascinating my minds eye. I wonder if the shit I was talking about was worth eavesdropping for them. After a handful of drinks I manage to successfully zone out all the hubbub. I was in my own bubble. Staring off with contempt. Looking at the way people drank their drinks. The people coming in and out. Everyone, scrutinized by my blank discs I call eyes.
After yet another handful of drinks in me I finally take off my sunnies. Marking a turning point for the evening. No longer being able to hide my demeanor. My devil may cry attitude gone dissipated into the air. I wear my glasses and am faced being a functioning human who must do human things: talk, listen, and make eye contact. Dawson tells me plenty of stories. Gloria hears all my snarky remarks. Me and Hannah wave at each other a handful of times. Josh listens to my pangs. Cole being gracious as he always is.
The drinks. Modern innovative bold. Fun unique drinks you won’t find anywhere else, and they got me pretty lit too which is always a plus.
Ain’t much to say. You go out, have tasty drink, see some people, see some friends, and enjoy yourself. What more can I ask for, it got me out of my catatonic deranged gloomy state and if thats not a sign of a good time idk what it.
Thank you Shinjuku Strut.
The Ozu and Sono were my fav, and that Chiba ice cream to wash it all down that’s what it’s all about tysm
yeah idk shit was chill rode back home on a mf scooter ain’t never done that before. Highkey a vibe wind on my face, riding off a pretty good buzz.
Honestly the best thing was the menu I simply adored the design of it. It made me feel like I made it to exactly where I needed to be. Even in my deranged hatred that clouded over me upon my first entrance into Seabird the first thing that defused me was this tasteful design. Anywho chill time until next time.
CONSUMER REPORT 4EVER 🛜SMD