Welcome to Consumer Report ā a personal archive of observations, impulses, thoughts, and internal monologues. This is where I process the world as I consume it: media, people, moods, ideas, and anything else that sticks. Subscribe to read whatever nonsense Iām thinking about this week. Stay hot, fun, and sexy. š§”š
One Tap
Iām writing this fresh out of bed with a homemade espresso cup from my dearly beloved wifey, I take the teeniest tiniest baby rip of the more than likely cancer inducing weed cart that I have in my possession ā Iāve learned that it is a sativa and I also learned that I quite enjoy a sativa high ā and begin clacking away.
A couple weeks ago I one tapped the guessthegame #1132 āfor the uninitiated they show you a screenshot of a game and progressively reveal more obvious things like HUDs or characters.
When I one tapped #1132, the non believers in chat came with pitchforks āLiar! Phony! Fake!ā. I was being accosted for my gamer knowledge. Like Jesus on the cross, being condemned for speaking his mind, chat casted stones upon my own personal cross for knowing my truth.
But thatās neither here nor there. Because this isnāt about how I am so brain rotted that I can one tap a guessthegame by seeing a cluster of old pixels and immediately recognize that those old pixels belong to the corner of a fighting game stage from a game made decades ago in which I havenāt played in quite some time.
Stages
I want fun cool stages with day and night cycles. I want fun stages to see cool fun moves in. I want to chill out, play M bison, and do fun cool psycho moves under the overpass or next to truck pitstops. An animated world that charms me with design.
Fighting games need cool stages, arguably they are just as important as the characters. Aināt no one want to play on no boring ugly stage. Street Fighter 4 has some cool stages too, so itās crazy how many mfs pick Training Stage.
When someone picks the Training Stage it says a hundred things about them, it embodies a certain set of morals and values. Utility over artistry, bland over stimulating, logical over emotional. They are clinical, precise, meticulous, they aināt playing for fun, they playing to win. Itās the serious no nonsense gamer move. Itās the lemme lock in move, itās the try hard move. The simple music, the stage measurements, the dull backdrop, it makes them a better player. They pick the stage for a reason. The level matters, the background matters.
Whats my point
The stages/levels I played as a kid come with so many memories. Backgrounds and stages extends beyond video game design. A nice level stays in my head for years. In the same regard; I think of all the background and stages of my life. They sit in my head waiting to be acknowledged. Bringing back countless thoughts and memories.
The background of our lives needs to be designed well and to our tastes, this is the utmost importance unless you want to be a sour old crab; Something stimulating to keep us excited with our everyday decisions. Think of the walls in your home, the landscape of your commute, and the places you visit sporadically. All these backdrops are shaping you inconspicuously.
I yearn to be more like the Training Stage player. Gray walls, no distractions, pure optimization, locked in focus on 1000. Alas I donāt have a choice, Iām the fun lights and big color stages, which are a pillar to my identity. If I started enjoying the boring drab, it would be a cry for help, with my suicide attempt being just around the corner.
From the movies playing in the background during the Shinjuku Strut, to the stairway setting of the Met Gala, which was a ghastly sight, to all the fighting game stages Iāve played. The stage is where our worlds can unfold. It makes sense that we should be paying more attention to them.
Playing pool in a dingy bar? Sure, a vibe. But playing pool outside on a summer evening, in a beautiful backyard with a light breeze and soft evening light? I never played a more delightful round.
Lifes Backdrop
If you know me you know I be staring off pondering. To my detriment. Iāll thoughtlessly (or thoughtfully ;-) avoid the world and take pleasure in the play unfolding before me. Like reality tv but in a much more sophisticated and enlightened way. Others need to have dramatics spoon fed, - Love Island, Love is Blind, Love on the Spectrum - while I watch the couple quietly squabble next to the pool as dusk approaches, I enjoy my tacos, deciphering their body language, studying their newfound moods and find myself entirely entertained for the rest of my evening. Wondering how many more months their relationship can endure. Fulfilling my role as a cultural social critic.
If youāve never questioned the backgrounds of the games you play or the movies you watch chances are you never questioned the backgrounds of your life. New turns to old in a boring matter of years and we suddenly find ourselves craving change. A dormant living room for 3 years, suddenly breathes life into your daily monotony; The same stages you play suddenly get boring and new life comes in the form of DLC stage pack and character skins. Reality and digital space blend like two photos overlayed on top of one other. Struggling to distinguish the difference between themselves.
The things we experience are only more pronounced with the backgrounds that accompany them. A good setting makes the memory important, wherever it may be.
Thatās how I one tapped that hoe, I be playing the mf game.
Pewf okay I hope you liked that read. It feels important like I must study my surroundings even more, I must understand what it all means find the connecting thread. I must diligently entertain my outlandish thoughts I have because gottdangit someones gotta be saying some real ass shit, and goddammit itās gotta be me.
CONSUMER REPORT 4EVER šā®ļøš§ø and GODBLESSME 1st king (12:7, 3)
alright see u later lil bro I gotta speak w my more affluent readers/subscribers.
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